Glancing at my phone to see the time, I realize an hour has passed. Mom will be home in a half hour. Still not moving, I text what are we about to… INCOMING CALL: Mommy.
“Hello? I reply sort of hesitant.
“Have you picked up your clothes yet?!” Mom replied, sounding hopeful but in doubt also.
“Uh….”
“Nicole! I left an hour ago.! What have you been doing this whole entire time?!
“I wasn’t doing anything. Just laying in the backyard enjoying this beautiful spring weather.”
“It’s impossible to be doing nothing first of all. Secondly, go do what I told you, or else you can’t go anywhere tonight. Okay, bye.” CLICK.
Hanging up on me very irritated, I got the hint and got up.
I have big plans tonight. I thought silently to myself. Finishing my text message, exiting out of my Facebook stalking moments, I got up unwillingly. Folding my towel nicely and setting it on the table inside and headed to my some what cluttered bedroom. Country music blasting, I begin putting clothes in baskets. Fifteen minutes later and the task is completed.
Walking down the hallway, I grabbed the towel I had been previously using with my phone in hand and proceeded to go into my backyard. Organizing myself and getting situated. Within minutes I hear the sliding glass door screech open. Before I get the chance to look up, Mom screams “Nicole! Are you serious? You can’t follow one simple task I ask you to do? You are not allowed to go anywhere tonight.”Laughing and ignoring the words she had just said, she walks inside angrily. Continue to Facebook stalk and text, she walks outside and says “I’m sorry” so quiet that it was under her breath. Hearing every word she said, I asked “What did you say?”. “I said I’m sorry.” With the biggest grin on my face, I can’t help but acknowledge her and say “It’s okay Mommy.”
As I continue to enjoy the spring afternoon weather, and do nothing, my friend texts me saying – What are you doing? Simply reply, oh nothing(:.
Your piece was great it made me laugh because I can totally relate. The only thing I can suggest to change in your piece making things a little bit more clear. Like your 'stalking moments' and your 'big plans for tonight'. Overall your piece was really good. :)
ReplyDeletesomethings you should work on is what was your plans for the night. also the ending of paragraph 5 and beginning of 6 were confusing I couldn't tell who was talking. but over all it was a good piece.
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