Look at me! Beautiful black and silver coloring. Easy to touch touch screen. No dents…OH WAIT! What’s that little piece of black missing on the edge? Oh yeah, you dropped me on the ground because you decided I wasn’t worth as much! Do you remember how much you paid for me?
Do you understand how many peoples hand touch me? I am a handophobic! But you don’t hear me complaining or anything do you? People touch my screen twenty four seven. Whether they are going on Facebook, texting, lookin’ up some new apps or even playing some stupid game that really has no point!
You drive me insane. You get all these ringtones and backgrounds to pimp me out, but do you comprehend how much storage I really have on my memory card? Not a lot. I can only hold 512mbs. You know all those pictures you take of the stupidest things? Yeah, those waste up my memory too.
Memory is like my brain. You can only hold so much and you like to fill it with useless stuff. How do you suppose that I will learn anything new? I mean, yeah I am a SMART phone but I can’t be a SMART phone if your putting a game that has absolutely no meaning. You touch the screen to start a fire and jerk me around to keep the fire going? I mean honestly, what good is that?
Now, I must say one nice thing about you touching me ALL the time. I like the attention. You rather pay attention to me instead of your teachers talking about some boring lecture, and it makes me feel special. But must you do it so secretively? Yeah, you don’t wanna stay in after school because of me, but embrace me to the world if you’re gonna use me that much. I mean, I am great after all! :)
Love the shift of attitude! That really added depth to the character of the story. I felt like you went behind the scenes and discussed how phones are used during school.
ReplyDeleteAlmost a tad choppy. Some transitions between the paragraphs would add clarity and flow.
The idea of the phone was brilliant, how you prtrayed it really was relatable to everyone playing around with their phones, very good job. The only suggestion I have is for the fourth pargraph was a little confusing, I didn't know what you were talking about but I guessed it was something on the phone? So maybe change that so people would understand more.
ReplyDelete